My Homer Simpson's Five Stages of Writing

Musings about the writing journey

First published in the Pen In Hand Literary Journal, Maryland Writer's Association, July 2023

Available for sale at: https://www.amazon.com/Pen-Hand-Literary-Journal-Association/dp/B0CDNMDR78

Reprinted below with permission - I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading!

My Homer Simpson’s Five Stages of Writing….

Confidence, Doubt, Depression, Achievement, Anticipation

Confidence…. This isn’t too bad. It needs a bit of polish. A smidgen of a tweak. This part is done. My mom likes it. I like it. We all like it. I’ll send this one in and wait to hear. Maybe start another one. This one is sweet. It reads like someone else wrote it, but they didn’t–I did!

Doubt…. It’s no good. What was I thinking? Where are the plot holes? What ARE plot holes? I haven’t learned enough. Am I too old? I don’t have enough experience to write about this. How can I write about other people? I don’t know them. I can’t do this. I don’t know where to go from here. Why did I ever start? OMG–did I just plagiarize?

Depression…. I would delete the entire thing if I could just get out of bed and stop kidding myself. I’m worse than depressed, I’m delusional. Thinking this adds to the world rather than stuffing it with more drivel, drivel, drivel. I spent all this time and will never get it right. No one will ever read it. And I can’t ask the same people to read another version. The sheet covers my face.

Achievement…. A perfect sentence bloomed! Joy radiates through me. Grinning, I celebrate the brief firework of jubilation. Adverbs and weasel words be damned, I have finally expressed what I wanted. The vision is real, right there, scrolling on the page. Perfect.

Anticipation…. I itch to write. I don’t need to stop for coffee or to brush my teeth. I hurry to the keyboard to burrow down to find out what’s happened in my private world since I last visited. A world where the words tremble on the edge of my brain raring to shine. Will this be the time of magic where my words fly onto the page and the real meaning stream pure and easy? Will my imaginary friends be themselves, without artifice or stutter?

by elisabeth lang

Humanality

A short story about humanality and the kindness of a stranger.

Published in the Pen In Hand Literary Journal, Maryland Writer's Association, July 2025

Available for sale at: https://www.amazon.com/Pen-Hand-July-2024-Association/dp/B0D9PVRGCJ

Drace

A story about an extraterrestrial dragon who accidentally comes to Earth.

Published in the Pen In Hand Literary Journal, Maryland Writer's Association, July 2024

Available for sale at: https://www.amazon.com/Pen-Hand-July-2024-Association/dp/B0D9PVRGCJ

The Chihuahuas

A story about the first chance meeting between a future couple and their Chihuahuas.

Republished in the Talbot Spy, July 25, 2026 on-line edition

Available to read: https://talbotspy.org/2026/07/25/bay-to-ocean-journal-the-chihuahuas-by-elisabeth-lang/

First published:

Bay to Ocean Journal 2026 - The Year's Best Writing from the Eastern Shore Writers Assoc.

Available to buy: https://www.amazon.com/Bay-Ocean-Journal-2025-Association/dp/B0FVWQN8DV